Big Bone Lick State Park...the gift that keeps on giving

If you have ever driven through the Northern Kentucky/Cincinnati area you have most likely laughed at the sign for Big Bone Lick State Park and who can blame you? It has to be funniest double entendre interstate sign in the entire USA.

Not only do the locals make fun of this landmark, I have also seen it mocked online too. My teacher brought it up in class today and I was one of my only people who got the joke (I am just fun like that). It's an interesting place and vital to some geological discoveries (it's pretty much like the East Coast version of the La Brea Tar Pits). Not to mention t-shirt worthy.
Here is a little bit about Big Bone Lick from the Kentucky Parks website:

"Recreated grasslands, wetlands and wooded savannas lie along the trail leading to a "bog" diorama. Shown going into or struggling inside the marsh bog are a woolly mammoth, a mastodon, a giant sloth, bison, various skeletal remains, and scavengers feeding on the carcasses. Visitors approach the diorama on a boardwalk that rises above the floor of the marsh, enabling them to "look history in the eye." An amphitheater upslope from the diorama can be used as an outdoor classroom. The diorama and the Discovery Trail are sited to provide the physically challenged visitors with the opportunity to experience the varied grassland, wetland and savanna environments and the bog diorama."






It is a coincidence that Big Bone Lick State Park is located at 3380 Beaver Rd?
I hope not!

Fashion...Friend or Foe?

I hate to sound like someone's stuck up grandmother but with the exception of a few things I am not a fan of the majority of the current fashions today. Before all the fashionistas close the tab on this entry, I don't hate them all. I like fashion, cute clothes, and I like when other people tell me my clothes are cute. Let me explain....
For those who aren't a stick figure it's difficult to pull of skinny jeans and baby doll shirts (or something similar to those)which is all I seem to ever really find when I attempt to go shopping. If you can rock those then more power to you sister! You are fabulous and have hundreds of girls jealous of you! Well done!
For those of us who end up looking like a pregnant puffy Cheeto when wearing those items of clothing, shopping is more like the first 30 minutes of Saving Private Ryan than a nice stroll through the mall. By that I mean you have to fight to find the clothes you can pull off. I would describe myself as a chubby hourglass with former middle school cheerleader thighs which quite frankly sucks like an algae eater in a dirty fish tank. Seriously I could have the flu, a stomach virus, be on Dexatrim, not eat for a month, continue to work out 405 and never loose a pound. So I pretty much begrudgingly learned to accept this fact, wear Spanx and make up for my shortcomings in the body department with witty repartee. Moving on...
Recently I discovered that the majority of my pants had holes in them and since I have about a shot glass-sized amount of decency and shame left and vagina thermals are not exactly a practical option I decided it was time for some new pants. I went to a few places and was bombarded with skinny jean after skinny jean after skinny jean. I did end up buying two pairs one of which is only for work (I have to wear black pants and I was desperately needing some) and other I only wear with boots which block the as I call it "skinny jean boat feet syndrome". Everyday I look forward for the calendar to change and the weather to warm up so I can turn those sons of bitches into cut-offs or carpi pants. Ole!

My tastes have changed over the years when it comes to clothes. I used to be more into bold patterns and honestly just tacky stuff. Now as I approach what I call "being a real grown-up" I tend to learn towards basic, solid colors and bold accessories.
On any given day you will find me wearing any of the following items of clothing:

• Something leopard print (it's classic yet funky don't judge!)
• Fake pearl earrings (the Spanish know me as La Cheapa)
• A University of Kentucky t-shirt or hoodie (it's the easiest thing to find for me and I look good in the color and I can wear them to work)
• Something that vintage or something that looks vintage
  
• Anything shiny (I excel at attracting gays and plan to do it until I am wearing bedazzled track suits which might be any day now!)

To sum all of this up wear what you like, what makes you happy and what makes you look good. It's not about being hip, cool, groovy, or whatever the kids are saying these days. Just be yourself, have fun, and don't buy what you can't afford (hit up the second-hands, outlets, and sales so much as possible, ladies. It will save you money and you will find some one-of-a-kind, classic pieces).
But the real issue here is why don't people look like this anymore......

'Nuff said!

Halloween Blog#4- Decorations

So little words are needed. I think you get the picture.
Happy Halloween!

Halloween Blog#3-Girls are scary

One thing that I have picked up on in recent years especially when I worked at Blockbuster is that girls love slasher/horror movies. One would think that movies about a usually male psycho chopping up naked girls would appeal to weird, horny boys. Well, you thought wrong my friend! Many girls love it too. Not all girls fit my female slasher lover criteria but if you do this what you are....

• Aged 13-45
• Attractive
• Usually in a committed relationship
  

Almost every day when I worked at Blockbuster I would have girls come in and ask me for horror movie recommendations while their boyfriends and husbands groaned and walked towards the comedy,action and soft-core porn. I enjoyed helping these gore hound girls. It was fun and I always liked talking to people about different movies. I also would love when they would return the movie and tell me they loved it. I felt like I was doing a public service and helping people get their money's worth of entertainment.
The question is why are so many girls attracted to horror movies? I thought I was the only one who had noticed this until my boyfriend and I watched a documentary called Going To Pieces:The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film where some the point was brought up. According to the documentary (and me) girls enjoy these films because most of the time a female is the hero. Look back at movies like Rear Window where Grace Kelly is hell bent to solve the mystery of the missing neighbor all while looking fabulous and saving the day. (I have a theory that Grace Kelly was the prototype for the last surviving smart girls in horror movies).

In every horror movie now there is that last remaining girl who either gets away, kills the bad guy or is left to come back for the sequel such as Nancy aka Heather Langenkamp in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies who finally gets rid of Freddy even though I love him and want him to kill all those stupid teenagers.

Then you have the heroines who do some serious ass kicking such as in 1980s I Spit on Your Grave which was the first female revenge movies and has some of the most disgusting scenes ever put on celluloid. It's a good cautionary tale and allowed girls to seek justice on those who did them wrong. Note to girls:this is not a good date movie. Watch this one alone or with your friends. I was actually told by a guy I dated in high school to watch this one alone. YIKES!

While there are the girls who save the day there are also some great horror female villains even though they are very hard to come by. Girls cheer on the heroines but we also love a good nasty, female villain. Society frowns upon women being bad which is why we are so drawn to them such as The Bride of Frankenstein. Even though we only see her for about 5 minutes in the actual Bride of Frankenstein film she is the most popular Classic Universal monster. Why? Because she a monster with boobs. What's not to love?

Some other great female villains include that awful Japanese girl in Audition, Glenn Close as the infamous Alex Forrester in Fatal Attraction, Sherri Moon as Baby in Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses, and Shawnee Smith as Amanda in the Saw movies.
Another reason why I think girls are drawn to these movies is that they teach us that bad girls and whores die first. If you are a girl who has sex in a horror movie you will die! I think there is a fascination with wanting to see girls that remind us of the ones we hated in high school get hacked up. Also consider the fact that us girls bleed for five days every month gives us a higher tolerance for blood. Sorry to be gross but it's true. If men had periods they would all kill themselves. Like I said, girls are scary!
Happy Halloween!

Halloween Blog #2: Halloween Food

Halloween is a time for lots of yummy/bad for you treats. Now that I think about that so is Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, News Year Eve, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, and so on. Not only do I get all the classic Halloween treats I also get some form of cake and presents (YAY!).
Here is a breakdown of all my favorite Halloween goodies. Nom nom!

Caramel/Candy Apples
Who doesn't love a good sugary covered apple this time of year? Has anyone else noticed that caramel/candy apples are getting a little fancier each year? Besides the classic, plain caramel and candy I have also seen some with nuts, rainbow sprinkles, M&Ms, marshmallows, and this summer I saw one at a gourmet candy shop by Cincinnati covered in peanut butter and Reese's Pieces!


Candy Corn
Not my favorite but I do enjoy a nice, healthy handful of candy corn every now and then. I think that candy corn is more cute than tasty and it is symbolic of the season.


Popcorn Balls
These are great as long as you don't break a tooth! They are way better when they are homemade. Since popcorn balls are a royal pain in the ass to make I can settle with packaged ones.


Blue Moon Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale
I just learned to appreciate the joys of beer this year. Oh, and I am glad I did! The Blue Moon Brewing Co. comes out with special seasonal brews and my favorite is the Autumn Pumpkin Ale. It's a little weird at first and I was apprehensive at first. It doesn't taste like a piece of pumpkin pie smashed up in a beer like one would think. It's more of a darker beer with an occasional taste of pumpkin. Bottoms up!!


Caramel Apple Pops
These are my absolute favorite candy! I couldn't find them for a few years and my Halloween season was just not the same. I found some at Meijer a few weeks and I snapped and bought 4 bags!


Halloween Cupcakes
I usually end up with cupcakes on Halloween. Last year for my birthday, I ended up ordering way too many from the bakery. When my mom went to pick them up there was a lady next to her who was also picking up Halloween cupcakes. The lady said "Do you have a Halloween baby, too?"
"Yes."
"How old is yours?"- the lady asked
"She is 21."
"Mine is 1 today."
FAIL!
This year I am making my own damn cake (even though those bakery cupcakes are super cute).

Halloween Blog #1: 80's Horror Movie Posters

October is my favorite time of year. Not only is Halloween my favorite holiday, it also happens to be my birthday. I am pretty hardcore Halloween (I have a bat tattooed on my foot in honor of the day) and I am writing a series of Halloween-related blogs.
I have always enjoyed 1980s horror movies. The 80s were the heyday for slasher and horror movies. I think many fans would agree that the best horror movies were made between 1980-1989. Humans have always enjoyed violence and horror and it wasn't until this time that Hollywood really caught on to this and decided to cash in. If it wasn't for Psycho 20 years before we wouldn't have Freddy, Jason, or Michael Myers. So thank you, Hitchcock for killing Janet Leigh in the shower!
Many of my peers have a special place in our hearts for these movies. Not because we saw them when they originally released but because we remember going to the now almost-extinct video stores with our families and friends and wandering over into the horror section knowing we weren't supposed to and looking at these VHS box covers in both fascination and terror. We wanted to watch these seemingly terrifying movies but were too afraid too. During my three year stint at Blockbuster I remember seeing kids and preteens do this as well with the same posters I did as well as the newer ones. When I got old enough to see these movies I was not disappointed although these 80s horror films are not going to win an Academy Award (some are just plain awful) but they are fun and symbolic of Halloween itself and a by-gone era in cinema.
I did some searching for some of my favorite 80s horror movie posters. They just don't make 'em like they used to!


*The Spookies poster is on the wall collage of posters at Showplace Cinemas in Somerset,KY*













*The Horror High is my favorite*