Saturday, July 24, 2010

Emily loves ice cream

Ice cream is never a bad thing. I am a huge life-long ice cream addict. I eat it at least twice a week during the summer (usually from my freezer but occasionally I will go out). Since we are in dog days of summer and I live in Kentucky which has to be one of the most humid places on the planet ice cream has been even better the past few weeks.
I love all kinds, flavors, and brands of ice cream. I tend to gravitate towards the chocolate flavors. Last week my boyfriend Cory and I decided to take a trip to our local Coldstone Creamery. I went there last month and gave myself a total sugar buzz and stomach ache on some custom peanut butter chocolate creation which included Reese Cups and pie crust. It was amazing. Needless to say, the next day I added a few extra minutes on to my cardio. Last week we decided to go after my sweet tooth started nagging me. Cory is not a big sweet eater so he was not as happy as I was to walk in and smell the fresh waffle cones. Usually I make up my own creation. After much debate and a few taste test fails I finally decided on their creation of Birthcake Remix. This included cake batter ice cream, a whole brownie, rainbow sprinkles (my personal favorite) and chocolate syrup. It was delicious. And those ice cream cupcakes look like heaven! Of course you can not buy just one. You have to buy six! Note: This will not stop me from buying them someday.

About 10 minutes after eating it I wanted to toss my cookies and then some. When I got back to my apartment I licked some salt off my hand in tequila shot-style fashion to counteract the sweetness. Classy, I know. I then thought "do you really need all this extra crap to make ice cream taste better?" The answer is no. Sometimes it sure does help. I think I can do a few months without a visit to the Coldstone. Will I go back? You bet your ass I will!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Werewolves of Summer

According to my recent movie choices I have discovered something new about myself. Apparently I like werewolves. I know my last blog was about the nonexistence of vampires and a brief rant about a certain "toy". I have a fascination with the mystical, paranormal, and spooky things (I was born on Halloween so I can't exactly help it!) and as a result I like to talk/write about them. I have never been as enthusiastic about werewolves as I have other monsters until now. I always thought that they were a little lame. I guess growing up with a wolfish looking dog who I have seen kill smaller animals multiple times makes you immune to things like that. Enough with the chit chat, let's talk about some silver screen lycanthropy!

The first werewolf movie I saw this summer was Ginger Snaps. Made in 2000 in Canada this movie is now a cult classic. I remember it being on the shelves of the Blockbuster were I worked for 3 years and I am sorry that I never watched it until now. The movie follows two death obsessed teenage sisters (Ginger and Bridgette) who take mock crime scene photos and are outcasts at school. On the night of her first period Ginger gets bitten by a werewolf and slowly starts transforming into a bloodthirsty werewolf. While Bridgette tries to control her, Ginger mistakenly thinks her new primal urges are for sex but instead discovers she only wants to tear things to pieces. This film is funny, gory, hip, part horror movie, part chick flick and cleverly uses transforming into a werewolf as a metaphor for teenage hell.

The second werewolf movie I watched was The Wolfman. Usually I stay away from remakes of any kind but this one was different. And by different I mean actually good. This version takes the 1941 Universal classic and gives it a modern day twist with some great gore effects. You can't beat the classic Universal monsters but this movie did it's best and honestly did entertain me. For starters I love Emily Blunt. Not because we share the same first name, I love her because she is talented and that girl is in line for an Oscar someday! Plus she can play both dramatic and comedic roles and be equally as good in either of them which is very rare. Emily Blunt reminds me of Vivien Leigh which is another reason why I like her so much. Who doesn't love Anthony Hopkins? It's Hannibal, for cryin' out loud!! Benicio Del Torro also did a great job. This version was not entirely true to the original script but keeps some of the same elements such as the character names. I loved this movie because I have a thing for movies set in 19th century London. With the dreary weather, fog, foreboding architecture, and buzz of Jack the Ripper 19th century London is the perfect location for a horror film. I know this movie is not destined to be a classic but I think that it will be a good one to watch at Halloween.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Not for the faint of heart

This is something that recently heard about and I think it deserves a blog. This is not a joke and it's a good thing that I went ahead and posted an adult content warning on my blog just in case I offend anyone (which I often do). There is now a Twilight dildo. What is that you say?? Yes, you sexually repressed Edward lovin' freaks there is a Twilight dildo available on the market. Don't you just love capitalism? Really, WTF?!?!?
This dildo sparkles and is designed to be kept in the refrigerator so the user has an accurate experience. Whenever I feel something cold down there all I can think about is that dreaded Ky Jelly-filled yearly trip to the gyno. Plus how do we know that Edward's dick sparkles? Whoever purchases this seriously needs a psych evaluation. Edward Cullen is a fictional character and he will never love you. The sooner these crazed women figure that out the better off society as a whole will be. I have seen the first Twilight movie and Edward is one creepy bloodsucker. I don't think that watching someone while they sleep qualifies as romantic. Edward, just man up and drain Bella already! You know you want to! Listen to that killer instinct, Cullen and nom nom on that pasty bitch until dawn.
SPOILER ALERT! With that being said, if the producers and directors of the fourth Twilight movie actually show violent, gore filled vampire childbirth I think that's worth going to a matinee and using my student discount for. Plus that scene will take the family friendly aspects of the franchise down several notches.

Like these Cullen hounds, I do find Eric and Bill of "True Blood" very sexually appealing, I understand they are fiction. But is Edward really a vampire? Don't think so. The difference between myself, other rational thinking vampire fans, and these horny housewives and teenage girls is that we understand that vampires are not fucking real!! The closest to real vampires we are every going to get are The Kentucky Vampire Clan (bloodsuckers on death row are not so sexy, are they ladies?) and Vampire Don who I totally invite to Thanksgiving. Really, I would.

So, ladies get a grip (and a room temperature sex toy) and please enjoy vampires responsibly.