Sunday, January 2, 2011

Catfights, Fur Coats, Shoulder Pads, Big Hair, and Oil....either it's a sale at Goodwill or "Dynasty"

In 2003, all the teenage douches were having Laguna Beach and The O.C. viewing parties while comparing Ugg's. The poor guys who were drafted into this hell pretended to either enjoy those awful shows in an attempt to get a little over the Abercrombie sweater action or pretend they weren't gay while they re-dressed Lauren Conrad in their minds.
Unlike those kids, I have a appreciation for syndicated dramas of the past and instead I was being fabulous (although I had not concept of what that term meant) and was watching awesomely trashy 1980s night time soap Dynasty.
The show chronicles the exploits of the Denver oil tycoon Blake Carrington (John Forsythe), his wife Krystle (Linda Evans), Blake's manipulative ex-wife and business rival Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan (Joan Collins), their children, their sex lives, and their business ups and downs. Viewers tuned in weekly from 1981-1989 to watch these crazy people rock some HUGE hair, wear mink, drive Rolls-Royces, call each other bitches, and practically drown in shoulder pads. Dynasty was the perfect example of the excess and glam of the 1980s aka Regan-nomics. I don't think Barack would approve.

While Dynasty is famous for it's drill, baby, drill story lines and tacky clothes, it was even more known for the catfights between it's female characters. From what I have been told (I was a year old when this show went off the air) this was the first time that women were really allowed to express psychical violence on television. Now just walk into any bar that plays "The Electric Slide" at least twice a night and you will see plenty of girl on girl violence. The cat fights were completley ridiculous which makes them even more lovable in my book.
Here are some classic examples....

My favorite!

This moment which is now known as The Moldavian Massacre is in my opinion one of the most insane moments in television history. Let me sum it up for you. Amanda Carrington is going to marry Prince Michael of Moldavia. Terrorist attack. Fictional rich people die. Just watch.

I love this show for it's over dramatic antics and it's awesome trashiness. Not to mention Joan Collins who was the best part of the show.

(Note: This is what fabulous looks like)

If you are a gay man or a weirdo like me then reading this blog was completely pointless. You already knew all this information. Now get back to your porn.

*I changed the name of my blog. I was driving home from the grocery store today and I was thinking about a new post and the fact that someone like me could come up with a better name than Emily's Playhouse. So why Red Hot Applesauce?
I recently started reading and I discovered that in urban lingo the word sauce implies adding flair to a conversation. Since I am a pretty saucy gal and a redhead I thought it fit well.

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