Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Oldies Revealed


Who doesn't love kickin' back with some oldies? And by oldies I don't mean late 90's boy bands. It's pretty amazing that these classic songs still get stuck in our heads 50+ years later. But have you really listened to the lyrics before?
I doubt it. A few weeks ago I found an oldies mix CD in my I made years ago and as I was listening pretending to be rocking a sweet poodle skirt at some dinner I came to several conclusions about some classic jams...




Leslie Gore
"It's My Party"


More like a party foul! For starters, we don't know for sure if Leslie Gore and Johnny and even an official couple or to be more appropriate to the topic "going steady". The song says "why is he holding her hand when he's supposed to be mine?" The key phrase is "supposed to be". And who is this Judy? Is she hotter? She must be if Johnny is running off with her at his maybe girlfriend's party. Or maybe she swallows.
I don't think anyone wants to go to a party where the hostess is crying all night. Her friends need to get her a shot of anything pronto and then trash talk that bitch Judy all night!
But the real question is would you cry to if it happened to you?
Yeah, most likely.

The Foundations
"Build Me Up Buttercup"

Buttercup is a bitch! She doesn't call him back and she stands him up. He is waiting by the phone for this buttercup! This is pre cell phone so it's not like he can go do something else while he waits for this chick. Come on, that is romance! He sounds like one of those guys who goes after mean girls to make himself feel bad on purpose aka a guy you need to NOT date.
But what makes this "buttercup" so damn special? She must be super hot. Or maybe she let's him stick in her pooper.
I bet Judy is her friend.

Bobby Day
"Rockin' Robin"

For starters this song is pretty annoying yet still remains a classic. It sounds like this robin needs to head to an AA meeting ASAP! He needs to tone it down before the those birds on Jay Bird Street stage an intervention. I bet those other birds really hate the rockin' robin and hope the neighborhood feral cat lays the nom down on his ass. How do we really now that the birds on Jay Bird Street love to hear that freaking robin go "tweet, tweet, tweet"? I bet if those birds had money and thumbs they would be buying stock in ear plugs. Or they would just kill him.

Chubby Checker
"Let's Twist Again"

I love this song! I am in full support of bringing these sweet moves back.
But what I want to know is did everyone stop twisting?
If history and Mad Men* are telling the truth I thought the early 60's were just one martini drinking, cigarette smoking, twisting good time?
The song says "let's twist again like we did last summer, let's twist again like we did last year". So is the twist only a summer activity? It looks too fun to limit to just one season.

*I totally have the Mad Men soundtrack and don't doubt for a minute that I don't blast this shit.

Because I do.

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